maybe i were a bit mean on kansas but you've only got about thirteen miles of road what goes through it so we were pretty much out of kansas without really realising we were there, know what I mean. we get lost again, this time in miami. don't know what will smith is on about: there's nowt there - the nobhead. i went into a petrol station to ask for directions and then we're off to join the will rogers turnpike.
will rogers
it is impossible to go any further without saying summat about will rogers, one of the greatest men who ever lived. he could do owt. he were in the guinness book of records for his lasso skills, and then he started telling gags and stuff when he were on the stage. people liked that even more and soon he were in a load of films as well as writting a ton of newspaper columns. he went round the world meeting kings and stuff and his most famous quote is "i never met a man i didn't like". he obviously never met jim then...
we're driving along the turnpike (after paying the toll) and in the distance we see the biggest mcdonalds in the world ever. it's massive - it goes all the way across the road, which being a turnpike is super big - it were also the first restaraunt constructed above a public highway you know. We stop off for summat to eat and pick up a motel guide with all vouchers in it for the state of oklahoma and I get meself a will rogers souvenir quarter what says "i never met a man i didn't like". will rogers, eh? before too long we arrive at our next temporary abode - tulsa.
after the guys at the microtel give us grief, we check into the belmont and then me and ben head into town for a couple of beers. ben asks the receptionist where she goes out in tulsa, but she doesn't drink and ben's like "what are you on about?" so we just get a taxi and hope the driver knows what he's doing.
the taxi driver is called charlie and he's probably the second best taxi driver in the world. he spent four years working in clapham so him and ben were chatting about that london. he drops us off at barkley's. there's a couple of nice birds knocking about but there generally not a lot happening so we move next door to the english pub which is empty except for a band who are in the process of packing up.
we have a quick beer and then go back to barkley's which is now pretty much empty except for a brummie nobhead who's acting like he owns the place. they're also shutting so we get a beer and order a taxi and the barman tells us oklahoma is a cesspool. we're inclined to agree. charlie picks us up again and says something about london and ben says "the last taxi driver who picked us up had worked in london" and charlie says "that was me". heh heh. back at the hotel we just get us heads down 'cause it han't really been that good a one.
we get some dinner before we leave tulsa and the truth be told we can't really wait until we are twenty-four hours from it. then we're off again as we take a short drive up the interstate to oklahoma city.
we park the car on gaylord and head round the corner, find a café and sit down and have a coffee. the café is part of an art gallery and we're sat surrounded by works of art. they are without exception appalling. then we're off to try and find a battery charger for benny boy's camera (note the relative absence of photographs) and a woman in a shop suggests going to the mall which is about 15 miles south of the city centre.
i get the battery charger in about a second although we spend about three hours in the mall and then we head back up to oklahoma city to join insterstate 40 - direction: elk city. we also charged the batteries for the camera.
the weather is looking increasing unstable as we arrive in elk city, so we decide to park up for a bit and i go over to take a look at a music shop. it starts spitting, so we dive into the kfc for cover and lunch.
when we come outside the storm as his and it's ridiculous. we're stood outside using the kfc for shelter and then all creatures start coming out of the wall 'cause of all the wet and that, so we've got a choice of rain or super big beetles. we was terrified out of us wits, so eventually we pegged it back across to the car and relative safety.
back on the road, the weather is still looking mental and we've got a thunderstorm on either side of us as we drive on into texas. i have no words to convey how tremendous and exciting this actually was - we tried to take some photographs of the lightning, but unfortunately something moving at the speed of light is pretty difficult to photograph, so all we had were a bunch of black photographs. i'd of put them up on the site, but there's really no point: the last one here pretty much sums them all up.
we drive on through the wind, rain, thunder, lightening and fear and finally we reach the comparative safety of us destination: amarillo.