once we get into amarillo we spend ages driving round looking for somewhere to kip for the night. we consult the motel guide that we got from mcdonalds and head for somewhere cheap. in a bout of supreme idiocy we pull into the camelot suites.
unlike the original camelot which were full of noble knights and round tables and wizards and that, the camelot suites are the exact opposite. there's one asian guy at the desk who can't comprehend that we want two rooms between the three of us. after five minutes of trying to break through the communication barrier we decide that we're better off sacking it off and checking into somewhere we know and we head straight for the holiday inn.
the holiday inn is much more like it: we check in, head up to the room, switch on the telly and we've got free porn. we're tempted to stay in and watch free porn all evening, but instead we have a drink in the hotel bar - a bar where everybody is wearing cowboy hats. normally if you're in a bar, right, you'd feel like a right beller with a cowboy hat on. here the opposite were true. the hotel offer a free taxi service into town so we have a beer and get a lift into town. the old bloke driving the taxi apologises for the fact that he won't be able to take us back, but merritt the security guard takes us to one side and says that if we call the hotel and ask for him, he'll drive over and pick us up. i guess being a security guard in a holiday inn in amarillo can get quite boring at times.
we get dropped off at brewsters (on merritt's advice) and despite the booming techno music, there are two other customers in there. two other customers who leave before we've finished ordering our drinks. we decide to play some pool (there's not really a lot else to do) and i'm playing ben when another bloke comes in and plays against colin. colin's new mate teaches the door staff karate and stuff in exchange for free beer in the pub. sounds like a decent deal to me.
karate man shoots off after a bit and we stay in there until 2am and the dj gives us a lift back to the hotel. he's quite a funny bloke but he'd been drinking and smoking and he's got a shit car so after about twenty minutes of us packing them, we eventually get back to the hotel. we leg it to our room and switch the telly on. the free porn has gone. if only we'd taken heed of that episode of friends. i watch van wilder while the boys get some kip.
colin gets up and heads downstairs to check out the facilities (swimming bath etc.) so we put the telly on and the free porn is back. it were magic. we decide that if we're going to be in the state of texas for another minute we need to acquire some genuine cowboy hats, so we shower, check out of the hotel and head downtown to the gateway mall.
after getting us hats (mine and colin's aren't exactly genuine - they are in fact australian, but genuine australian though mate) and fill up on chinese dinners, we're back on the road heading southwest. we're taking a detour from route 66 and taking interstate 27 to canyon in the direction of roswell.
on the way we see a cow factory. cows go in. burgers come out. food for thought?